Tag Archives: Weddings

June 29, 2011 · 12:29 PM

The Other Royal Wedding

Pop quiz:

1. Did you know that a royal wedding is happening this Saturday, July 2?

2. If you did know, can you name the bride?

I didn’t think so. And that’s my point exactly.

We’ve gone from the biggest royal wedding in history to a royal wedding two months later for which no one is even bothering to purchase new hats. Let’s explore why.

First of all, the wedding in question is that of Prince Albert II of Monaco and former Olympic swimmer Charlene Wittstock. Hmmm, a prince marrying a commoner…this sounds familiar and compelling…so why isn’t it?

Let’s look at the less-than-appetizing facts:

He’s 53. She’s 33.
He has already fathered two children out-of-wedlock with two different women; his daughter is 19 and his son is 6.
Charlene has spent the last four years living in an apartment in Monaco, paid for by the prince. She hasn’t had a job in that time, and seeing as she’s only just learning French, it doesn’t seem like she could have obtained one.

But before I get too critical, let’s not forget that she is going to be a princess. Of MONACO, easily one of the most fabulous areas of the Mediterranean. She’s going to live in a castle, with staff, with nothing more to do than produce an heir and appear at state events. Sounds like a good deal to me.

Oh, and she gets a ring that takes up half her finger:

On second thought, I don’t think I would take all of that if it meant marrying him. No offense, Al.

One advantage Charlene has over Kate is two sisters-in-law to turn to for guidance. Kate married a man with one brother, while Charlene is marrying a man with two sisters, Princess Stephanie (shown below) and Princess Caroline.

One can imagine it would be quite helpful to have a few experienced princesses around to show one the ropes.

Though apparently they haven’t been jumping to serve as fashion advisors, seeing as they are both ill-qualified. I can’t decide who looks worse — Charlene or Princess Stephanie. No, Stephanie definitely looks worse.

Apparently Charlene agrees. In a recent Vogue article, she spoke of this particular fashion misstep (at the 2007 Monaco Red Cross Ball), “Finding my fashion feet has certainly been the biggest challenge,” she says. “I was literally a fish out of water. I thought it was all fun, fun, fun, and didn’t give my outfit any thought. I had been playing beach volleyball all day, painted my nails red, and threw on a dress. I thought I looked great at the time, but looking back, I realize that my debut into Monaco society should have been better executed!”

When she’s that honest with herself, how can you not feel for her?

I am the first to admit that any lady entering the world stage would probably fail in comparison to Kate the Great, but I can’t help but shudder at some of her choices.

Try not to jump back in your chair when you see this pantsuit:

But that’s all behind her now. Soon she’ll be walking down the aisle in Armani. Soon she’ll have designers at her disposal. Soon she’ll be looking back at all of this and laughing over a glass of Veuve Clicquot.

Which leaves me with the final task of watching and evaluating the big day. No matter how Charlene looks, one thing is sure: we know there will be hats. Guests may be pulling them from the back of their closets, but there will be lots of hats.

Stay tuned.

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Filed under One WORD (Current Events)

Tagged as celebrities, Europe, Kate and Will, marriage, royal weddings, royals, Society, Weddings

June 22, 2011 · 5:15 PM

Finding What We Were Looking For

Our journey to the U2 concert two weeks ago was more complicated than driving from our home to the stadium.

I bought the tickets for Mike in October 2009. No, that is not a typo.

I gave them to him for Christmas that year, as we had always dreamed of seeing U2 live. Seeing them in Seattle was second only to seeing them in Dublin, so we were both thrilled it was finally happening.

Like thousands of other fans, we were crushed when we got the email in March 2010 that Bono had hurt his back and the concert would be delayed. We were absolutely slayed when they decided to delay it by an entire year to June 4, 2011; it felt like they had said, “Whatever date sounds like it will absolutely never arrive — that is the new date of the concert.”

Toward the end of 2010, a couple in our Bible study announced their engagement. We were utterly thrilled for them and so excited to watch them take the next step in their relationship. We didn’t give a thought to the date they chose, because their wedding seemed close, and we thought the concert was impossibly far away…

…until one day in mid-April I was driving to lunch from work and heard the announcer on the radio excitedly mention the concert coming up on June 4. I nearly careened off the road as I dove for my phone to call Mike in a panic. He said we could talk about it that evening.

Talk we did. Many times. We even prayed about it, because the last thing we wanted was to hurt our friends’ feelings. Finally, after much discussion, we figured out a way to honor their wedding and make one of our dreams come true — we would do both. Thankfully, the fabulous bridal couple graciously understood.

I forgot to mention one little factor. They planned to marry in Yakima, which is 2.5 hours outside of Seattle.

The wedding was at 4PM. The concert was at 7PM. This was going to require some ~~James Bond~~ Mike Reph driving skills.

We dressed for the wedding, packed alternate clothes for the concert, and made sure our tickets were in the glove box. We hauled tail over the mountains to Yakima and made it there at 3PM so we could help with wedding duties. The wedding was beautiful and we were so thankful we didn’t miss it.

We pulled away from the church at exactly 5PM and by 6:55PM we were circling Qwest Stadium. Mike shaved 35 minutes off the drive time. If that’s not James Bond, I don’t know what is (luckily Lenny Kravitz was the opener, so we took our sweet time snubbing the $50 parking lots in favor of the $15 spots half a mile away).

After arriving at the stadium, we realized we couldn’t find our section. We walked back and forth between 236 and 238, but section 237 started to feel like the 13th floor of a hotel…nonexistent.

A concerned stadium guide saw my baffled expression and asked which section we were looking for. “Oh!” she said. “You’re on the club level! It’s one more flight up!”

Club Level?

I didn’t buy Club seats! I am far too cheap for such extravagance. But buying them without knowing I was being a spendthrift was too good to be true.

We walked inside and gaped at the difference — 75% fewer people, no lines for the bathroom, and a far greater selection of food and drink. Then we found that our seats were a mere six rows back from the balcony, our view was stellar, and we were on the aisle.

The whole situation was beginning to feel like a winning lottery ticket covered in sprinkles and delivered by carrier pigeon with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing the Hallelujah Chorus in the background.

Without a doubt, the concert lived up to what we had hoped it would be. I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I actually cried — more than once. I couldn’t get over our deep sense of gratitude, the beauty of the music, and the magic of seeing the greatest band on Earth.

Knowing exactly how cheesy it would sound, but unable to contain myself, I turned to Mike in the middle of the concert and said, “Merry Christmas!”

He just laughed and pulled me in for a hug, which is how we stood for the rest of the song.

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Filed under The WORD (Faith)

Tagged as adventure, Mike Reph, music, U2, Weddings

May 2, 2011 · 12:41 PM

A Royal Wonder

It was, to borrow the popular British expression, absolutely brilliant.

I shot awake at 6AM PST, an hour ahead of my alarm, and I literally only had one thought in my head, the way you only have one thought in your head on Christmas morning, “It’s done! They are married!”

I know this should be embarrassing to admit, but I got over that admission about a decade ago.

I turned on my DVR and fast-forwarded through Bah-bra and Diane’s two-hour pre-wedding coverage to get to the point of the day — her dress.

Needless to say, it did not disappoint.

I always wagered that she would use lace, if only because it matches so perfectly with her style and grace. And, it must be said, she had grace in spades on her wedding day.

If I were an alien visiting Earth on April 29, 2011 and happened to land my spaceship in London, I would never imagine that this lady in white was joining the royal family; I would assume she was leading it.

And as she joined her prince at the front of the abbey, I was only thinking one thing: it’s a shame he couldn’t keep his hat on for the duration of the ceremony.

One of my favorite things about the service was that those leading it managed to use the word “betwixt” not once, but several times. How utterly English is that? For the remainder of this post I shall now use that word in place of “between.”

Though we all know I could write the entirety of this post about HRH The Duchess of Cambridge alone (just writing her new title makes me happy), I’m afraid that if I start down that road it will prove as endless as some of the hymns sung during the service. So let’s move on to the attire of the attendees, shall we?

First stop: cannot be avoided, must be mentioned and condemned immediately: Princess Beatrice.

I don’t care that she’s wearing Valentino. I don’t care that her hat is Philip Treacy. It is absolutely abhorrent and she should have been escorted out upon arrival.

On the other end of the fascinator spectrum lies that other British princess, Victoria Beckham. Now THAT is a perfect topper.

On a sadder princess note, my former favorite mistakenly thought this was an Easter service and got a little carried away with the color peach:

Without question, a real winner of the day was the bride’s sister and bridesmaid, Pippa. Wasn’t it obvious she was doing all of the work? And she was doing it in a difficult-to-walk-in, awkward-to-bend-over-in dress.

She had to escort the little royals down the aisle, which could have gone wrong a hundred different ways in front of two billion people. She had to carry her sister’s train for what seemed like weeks, and looked like she was happy to do so.

Also, did anyone else notice a little flirtation betwixt Harry and Pippa as they walked down the aisle?

And who could blame him, when he’s used to dating this:

Let’s just say the difference in level of sophistication betwixt the Davys and the Middletons is akin to the difference in hair coverage betwixt William and Harry.

But I digress.

When they arrived at Buckingham Palace and the crowds were given permission to surge toward the front gate, the sight of a sea of humanity filling the entire mall was overwhelming. It’s no surprise that Catherine was seen saying “Oh wow!” when she stepped onto the balcony.

In true break-the-mold style, the couple kissed two times. It almost seemed like they were saying “We actually like kissing, because we actually like each other! This is not just for show!” Anyway, I bought it.

After all of the fashion analysis fades and the wedding stops making headlines, I think those who watched it will remember it one way: as a happy event. It was undeniably exciting, and despite the grandeur it managed to feel strangely intimate. Somehow Will and Kate brought us all along for the ride, and as silly as it sounds, this fan-since-she-was-13 is grateful.