I promised myself I wouldn’t write another post involving a dog for at least a year, but sometimes life overwhelms promises.
On Saturday morning I got a phone call from my mom telling me that Belle had died in her sleep. I’ve written about Belle before, and how I have a special affection for her because she’s been in our family since I was 14. However, I didn’t expect that affection to translate to unstoppable tears at her passing, but it did.
After writing several semi-heartless posts about not wanting to get a dog, it was surreal to feel absolutely heartbroken at the loss of one. I’ve heard people always say that their dogs aren’t just pets, they are family members, and on Saturday I really understood that.
Part of what is so special about Belle is that we always maintained that she was a good dog because she knew that we had rescued her. My parents were taking a walk around the neighborhood in 1998 and saw a very cute puppy being walked by its owner. They stopped to pet the dog and discovered that the owner wasn’t the owner at all, but rather someone who had found the puppy after it had been shoved under a fence from a neighbor’s yard. This person told my parents they were planning to take the puppy to a shelter since she couldn’t keep it, and instead my parents said they wanted her.
You can imagine our surprise when my parents walked up to our house after their short walk around the block and had a puppy in hand. None of us hesitated to say YES to this dog.
(I wish I could post a picture of her at that age, but this was 1998 and the only photos my parents have are on actual film. It’s so strange to think about not having a digital photo to post.)
Ever since that fated beginning, she was as loyal as they come. She was razor-sharp smart, fiercely protective of our family and home, and a freakishly skilled fetcher. She was the kind of dog of which all dog-lovers dream.
I didn’t realize the full extent of that protectiveness until part way through high school. I went to Homecoming with my date and we came back to my parent’s house after the dance. My parents had already gone to bed, so my date and I walked in the front door and turned to see Belle standing at the top of the staircase.
Like a lion, she slowly crept down the steps, one by one. She never took her eyes off of my date. He looked at me nervously and I reassured him Belle wouldn’t attack him, but actually I wasn’t so sure. As we walked further inside we heard a low, threatening growl and we froze in place.
My date said, “I don’t think, um…maybe I should just go.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Belle, despite being a lady, was the older brother I never had.
In the last two years she slowed down considerably, no longer able to fetch the ball across the yard. She also became somewhat incontinent, yet my parents never wavered in their care for her. I once commented that they were incredible in ways that so many pet owners might not be — they refused to put her to sleep because they honored her life no matter the inconvenience to themselves.
“I hope you remember this when I’m incontinent,” my mother joked, only half-joking.
Just last Thursday my mom was voicing her concern that Belle could die while they are in Israel next week. She was panicked at the thought of it happening when they couldn’t care for her. When my mom called and told me she had passed, she couldn’t help but note that this was Belle’s last act of loyalty; her last moment of grace that she would go when they could say goodbye.
I will say that I was absolutely stunned by the display of compassion from people in our lives. My mom and I both shared on Facebook and through texts that we had lost Belle, and our friends and family could not have been more sympathetic. I never expected people to care, especially about a pet many of them had never met.
It certainly jolted me out of my dog apathy, because before I lost Belle I would only have said, “I’m sorry” to hear that a friend had lost a dog, and not known the pain they were going through. I know better now.
In one of my more tearful moments, I turned to Mike and said, “Where is she?”
“Don’t you know?” he replied. “All dogs go to heaven.”
I smiled at the sweet remark, and couldn’t help feeling comforted. My mom glanced over at Griffey, her other dog, and said, “Just look at her. You can’t tell me dogs don’t have souls.”
Either way, I can guarantee you she had spirit.
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Ab,
Such a sweet tribute to Belle. It brought tears to my eyes.
I hope each passing day gets easier on all of you.
xoxo
Oh sister, I love your recent doggy posts!
My deepest condolences to you and your family. I’m so sorry for your loss; Belle was a fabulous member and loyal to the end. I wish I had gotten to play with her. And you had me at “rescue”; all these designer dogs get on my nerves when so many amazing pets need to be rescued! The thing so many people don’t realize is that an animal you rescue (instead of sought & bought for it’s design) will be thankful to repay that kindness for the rest of their days!
True animal lovers adopt (in my opinion) and many discarded pets are of desirable breed anyway. Our dogs at “home” have always been rescued and each has been very special. My dad’s current sidekick is a dog who wandered in from the field, emaciated and obviously beaten. “Buddy” now accompanies him everywhere and has become sort of the church mascot. The secretaries have dog bones on their desks and Bud proudly trots in to work with dad each day. He’s great with their grandkids and my arrival protocol is not complete each time I visit until we’ve had a good wrestle. Yes, he’s stinky sometimes after a swim in the river, but sometimes babies are stinky. Sometimes I’m stinky. And a good pointer for all stinky living things- human, canine, feline, or otherwise- BATHE. It works just the same for all of us 😉
Please let your mom, dad, and sisters know that we send our animal-loving love and pray the sadness subsides and is replaced with only great memories of Belle’s life.
XO
Thank you so much, Lindsalot! I so appreciate your sympathy.
So sorry and a beautiful post. Makes me want to run up to Seattle to see Maggie (she’ll be 15 this Christmas) before it’s her time.
Go see Maggs! And take me with you when you do 🙂
Abby, I couldn’t help but laugh and cry through this last post. I, too, was like you with dogs and never understood how they could be ‘family’ until I met Jamie’s Riley & Edgar. I’ve known them just under two years, but they’re ‘my boys’ and ‘my buddies’ and the bond between them and Jamie is amazing to witness. I knew that, if they didn’t accept me, this relationship would have never continued (I wasn’t nervous at all about the in-laws!). But Edgar – who Jamie has had since he was six weeks old and was a rescue – will be 15 on Dec. 8 and, as a black lab mix, we know his time will come, too. He has many of the same ‘symptoms’ Belle had in her final days, but is equally as sweet. Thank you for sharing this column with us and will keep you and your family in our prayers.
Thank you so much for sharing, Dana. You are so lucky to have Riley and Edgar, and I hope you can soak up the time you have left with Edgar — and be thrilled that he lived so long! 15 years is incredible for a dog, and that is such a gift. Thanks for your prayers.
i sorry for my lateness in seeing this. like you wrote, i do not know the pain you and your family have experienced. but, i am sad for your loss. belle was your family, you loved her, and losing her is indeed that; a loss. sympathy from nina miller to the mcmurtry/berger/reph family.
Thank you so much Nina, you are so kind. And I have to say it was incredible that you sent my parents a card — THANK YOU.
She stayed long enough to teach Griff how to protect us, and gave her last to make sure that I didnt have to find her when mom and dad were gone. She protected me from that pain….protected until the bitter end. Oh Bellers, come back Bellers, best doggone dog in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!