Category Archives: One WORD (Current Events)

July 15, 2009 · 6:00 AM

House of Worship

I will be the first to admit that the Coldplay concert on July 11 was epic.  It was intense, beautiful and incredibly well done.  Best of all, it was the only concert I have ever experienced that filled me with an indescribable joy from start to finish.   The music was euphoric; even their more somber songs were played with an air of triumph.  I have never seen anything like it.

I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but I was ecstatic the entire set – literally jumping up and down for hours.  From the moment they entered the stage, I started screaming and bouncing at the sight of my favorite band.  Seeing them at The Gorge was ideal – it’s been named the best outdoor concert venue in the US, and that’s no exaggeration.  It’s stunningly gorgeous (no pun intended).

What happened next gave me pause:  during the first and second songs, I had tears in my eyes.  Two times, without warning, I felt like I was about to cry.  This had never happened before and I stopped jumping around for a moment to take stock.

Why would this make me emotional?  Why on earth was I acting like a teenage girl at a Beatles concert in 1965?  Chris Martin is NOT that good-looking.

Suddenly it occurred to me that it wasn’t the band that was sending me over the top, it was the collective experience.  Here I was among 30,000 people all singing the same lyrics, all fans of the same music, all happy together for three hours.  Where else can this be found?

Certainly not in Seattle.

Statistically, Seattle is the least-churched city in the US.  Given that absence, it’s no wonder that people are drawn to gathering by the thousands for a common interest such as a concert.   Where else in Seattle can one experience the community and fellowship of coming together to adore a single entity?  Where else can one stand among strangers and feel like you all have something in common?  Even sporting events can’t compare – they always involve competition.  The person sitting next to you could HATE the team you are rooting for.  At a concert, you are all there because you love the same performer.

As I was thinking about this, I had a flashback.  Two years ago, my father-in-law attended a Dave Matthews Band concert at The Gorge with me, Mike and all of our siblings.  Afterward, we eagerly asked him what he thought of it.  He paused, and then said, “It was a worship service.  Idolatry, really.”

Not critical, not positive or negative, just fact.

At first I thought, you can’t be serious.  What, we’re bowing down to gods made of stone? But he explained that today’s idols are really anything you put before God.  That could be musicians, actors, comic books, even your own beauty.

Then it was obvious; what I was experiencing was akin to going to a massive worship service — of Coldplay.

For me, it’s not too much of a stretch to fall into idol worship…but that’s less because of the music than because of their celebrity.  When they entered a smaller stage inside the crowd, just thirty feet from us, what did I do?  I bolted straight for them to get as close as the burly security guard would let me.  Why?  Because I idolize their talent and success.  And because, hello, the lead singer is married to Gwyneth Paltrow.  Need I write more?

It is fantastic to recognize that the music Coldplay creates is brilliant, but I have to remember the ability to create that music is God-given.   To recognize it as anything less is idol worship.  So while I’m amazed by what I’m hearing, I’m also thinking how incredible it is that we are created to create.  And that was the difference, I believe: I was in awe of the talent the Lord gives people, rather than being emotionally in awe of Chris, Will, Guy and Jonny.  And who wouldn’t be, with lyrics like this that make you feel invincible?

“Oh love, don’t let me go/Won’t you take me where the street lights glow?/I can hear rain coming like a serenade of sound/Now my feet won’t touch the ground.”  (Life in Technicolor II)

After considering these thoughts as the band played on, I had one of those ridiculous Christian-panic moments where I was thinking, “Now am I supposed to interpret all the lyrics through this lens?  Do I have to analyze everything to see how God is involved?”  No, I don’t.  In fact, when I have those thoughts, God is probably looking at me thinking, LIGHTEN UP.

So I am free to enjoy the music.

“I can hear rain coming like a serenade of sound…now my feet won’t touch the ground.”

Summer 09 050

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July 1, 2009 · 6:00 AM

The Mag Rag

Every couple weeks I see a newscast or blog shouting about the end of the printed newspaper.  They claim that it is only a matter of time before they all fold completely, because no one will pay for what they can get for free online.  But you never hear such commotion about magazines, and I believe that is because they’re not going anywhere.  We love them too much.

For instance, my current subscription is for Real Simple magazine (I only allow myself one subscription at a time, because I don’t have time to read more).  I love it.  I am obsessed with it.  Despite being in the middle of reading an excellent book, I will virtually pace at my mailbox for my Real Simple.  I will drop my book on its binding the moment it arrives and likely not revisit it until my magazine is dog-eared and tea-stained.

But this doesn’t make sense.  Do you know what I do with those pages of information that hundreds of people have compiled for me?  Nothing.

I apply about one percent of what I read, yet I feel compelled to keep subscribing anyway.  A recent issue suggested I switch from perfume to fragrant water; I haven’t.  Another showed me how to use household foods and baking ingredients to all-naturally clean my home; I still use the regular stuff.  I briefly considered switching to their incoming mail organization system, but decided our mail was fine.

So why do I read it?  It’s organization porn.

I seriously feel like I’m going to have a happiness stroke when I see how they completely made over someone’s closet.  Or how they ingeniously suggest using a colander to hold ice when you’re mixing cocktails so the water escapes, leaving drinks undiluted.

As I read, I picture myself transforming our home with these techniques.  I will banish clutter from our junk drawer by inserting cubic boxes for each item!  I will create an efficient mudroom with cubbies for all of my imaginary children to store their backpacks and shoes!

And it’s not just Real Simple.  Why do I sometimes read People magazine?  Do I personally know any of the people to which they refer?  Of course not.  But I could tell you the names of all of the Jolie-Pitt children, as well as their birthplaces.  I could joke about the “colon cleanse” Gwyneth Paltrow was quoted talking about.

In a strange way, celebrity gossip is like reading about fabulous cleaning products – fun to read, but totally irrelevant.

I used to subscribe to InStyle magazine.  It showed me how to be of-the-moment, superbly fashionable and utterly urban.  Yet I never bought the clothes and couldn’t afford to if I wanted to.  And it took me years to realize that it made me feel like an ugly, poverty-stricken hick.

It’s not just me, either.  I have a friend who subscribes to Cooking Light and absolutely loves it – yet has never cooked one recipe from it.  I have a husband who reads The Economist, yet rarely has the chance to discuss the in-depth articles with anyone.  My mother reads movie reviews in People magazine every week but won’t see a movie in the theater, she always waits for it to come out on DVD six months later.

All of this is really ironic when you consider that I have wanted to be a magazine editor for as long as I can remember.  The concept of magazines has always drawn me because it would seem that people read their magazines because they like them, not because they have to be informed like with a newspaper.

As I wrote for several newspapers in college, I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone was reading my work.  Why slave over each word and every fact if no one will read past your first three sentences?  But with magazines, you have a chance.  Readers have already selected your publication because they love your topic, so it just might matter to them if you choose to write about “Bing vs. Google” rather than “The Benefits of Bing.”

Magazines are an escape into information for your life, whether you apply it or not.  They entertain as they inform, which is exactly what draws a reader to them.  Also, they’re low on the commitment scale.  Have just ten minutes?  Read one article and you won’t feel like you were left hanging.

Who knows?  Maybe one day I’ll be the writer/editor telling Real Simple readers how they can avoid the pitfalls of not finding the right manicurist. And maybe that person will dream of following my advice, and then a week later head to the bathroom to do her own nails.  Even so, I bet I’ll have hooked a reader for life.

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May 27, 2009 · 6:00 AM

A Greater Disease

I’m not usually one to comment on the lives of celebrities (that is a total fabrication, but it makes me sound as pious as I one day hope to be), but the recent unraveling of a marriage has me troubled, and I must explain why.

Jon and Kate Gosselin, of the TLC show “Jon & Kate Plus Eight” are rumored to be divorcing, and last night the premier episode of their fifth season seemed to confirm it.  The question we are all asking is, why?

Based on widespread reporting, Jon had an affair with a 23-year-old school teacher.  That is the most obvious explanation for their breakup.  But an affair is never the cause of a breakup; it is the symptom of a greater disease.

Just 18 months ago I was inundated with pre-marriage counseling, a dozen books on marriage, and countless sentences of advice, so when couples fail the reasons strike me as textbook.  I’m no expert, but I am married.

In this case, Jon’s apathy and lack of leadership appears to have had the direct response of making Kate feel like she has to do it all.  Kate’s survival method of controlling everything (she DOES have eight kids) had the direct response of making Jon withdraw from her.

To a wife, a withdrawing husband is torture.  I have learned that women rarely agree to forgo affection.  If a woman isn’t adored at home even briefly, she’ll seek affirmation elsewhere (I am not defending this, but have noticed it in myself and my married friends).

For Kate, this took many forms: she decided that the quiet face of the camera was more sympathetic than a terse reply from her husband.  The worshipful fans in the Barnes & Nobles across America were more supportive than the rolling eyes of the man she married.

I find it hard to blame her.  I can’t count the number of times I have battled the desire to tell a loyal friend about a fight Mike and I had, and of my innocence in the situation, just so they’ll reassure me that I am in the right.  That is the essence of what Kate is doing: she wants the audience to back her up and agree that Jon is a disinterested oaf.   We agree, but in the process we notice she’s an obsessed, type-A commander.

But that type of affirmation doesn’t solve anything.  Instead, what’s left is the quiet awkwardness that neither of them will admit that they’ve done anything concretely wrong.  Instead, everything is coated in generalities:  “It was wrong place, wrong time,” said Jon.  “I have done my best,” said Kate.

What he didn’t say:  “As a husband, I don’t create boundaries or lead my wife, and I committed adultery.”

What she didn’t say:  “I treat my husband like a child and disrespect him.”

This is why I find their separation so disappointing, so threatening.  This isn’t Brad and Jen breaking up out of boredom or because a hotter star entered the picture.  This is a bland Pennsylvanian Christian couple who look all too similar to me and Mike.

And even though I don’t have stakes that are quite so high (eight children and millions of viewers watching my every move) , I participate in the same equivocation.   “Since you didn’t respond the first time I had to yell at you to get your attention,” said Abby.

What Abby didn’t say:  “I demand that my husband be available to me in ways no human possibly could.”

So as Mike and I watched this spectacle unfold last night, we found ourselves turning inward.  We asked ourselves what we will do when we have children, with Mike at work all day and I in command of our home in his absence.  Will I become Kate?  Will I treat him like a child instead of my leader?  Will I bark orders in the name of efficiency?

I would love to say that the difference between the Gosselins and the Rephs is our endless love and devotion, our radar for problems, and our unfailing optimism — but it is not true.  The Gosselins were probably strong in those areas when they were newly married 10 years ago, as we are now.

Instead, the most I can say is that we hope in a God who is the glue to our marriage, we try to love each other with a servant attitude, and we have grace for each other in times we fail.

I want to avoid telling my friends and family, as Kate did Monday evening, “This is not where we were supposed to be. This is not what I envisioned for us.”

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